You guys can bomb me up later. Just let me get through this.
It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school when having a boyfriend became somewhat of interest to me. Throughout those 4 years, I “experimented” but could never quite grasp the idea of a relationship. Once I got to college and was met with my first fake-real relationship things changed. I noticed how much of a sucker I could be when I really cared about someone.I can’t be the only one who dry heaves and cringes at the thought of the things they did or still do when they’re in love. So since the rest of you are a little hesitant to admit it, i’ll carry the torch for us all and be the first to expose my corny ways.
1. SPENT HOURS WRITING BREAKUP LETTERS
Never mind the fact that I had mad homework to do. I thought that it was more important to write letters that often began with the words “Ima keep this short” but proceeded on to 5 pages.
Maybe I wouldn’t consider this corny if I had done it only once and left my letter to be the final goodbye but that wasn’t the case. I distinctly remember writing about 12 of them bitches… to the same guy. All of them were finalized with a tear drop stain that I had hoped wouldn’t dry by the time he got it. Smh.
Fortunately, this is one thing I have parted ways with.. unless we’re talking about 8 paragraph text messages… but that doesn’t count.
2. GOOGLED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
Bruh! The need for answers was so real. When everyone gave me shitty advice or told me things I didnt want to hear, I sought to the internet to give me the answers. For some reason, I thought I could actually fit every characteristic of my relationship into the google search bar and find a response that would hit every point that I was trying to make.
Vigorously Types: “I had a dream that my juice spilled on the floor. The next day, the boy that I “talk” I to was drinking juice. He is an Aquarius and I am a Scorpio. Help! What does this mean???”
I learned quickly that not everything is google-able.
3. BROUGHT(BRING) THEM UP IN EVERY CONVERSATION
Everybody hates the person who finds a way to bring their significant other up in any and every instance. I must admit that sometimes I still catch myself bringing up the guy I may be dating in conversations that just simply don’t require his acknowledgment.
Friend: It’s so hot out here!
Me: I know me and Daniel were burning up earlier. You know the AC in his car not working.
Friend: You wan’t to go get some food?
Me: Omg me and Jamar went to this super nice resturaunt last night. Ima call him and see if he wants to go again.
Friend: Girl, let me tell you what this nigga did.
Me: Girllllllll, no let me tell you how Corey tried to play me yesterday. *claps hands* So boom….
4. MADE(MAKE) MYSELF UNCOMFORTABLE SO THEY CAN BE COMFORTABLE
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night in agonizing pain, arm damn near ready to fall off because the person you’re sleeping with is resting their big ass head on it!? You want to wake them up so badly just to pull them off of you but then you catch a quick glance at how peaceful they look and question if having an arm is even really THAT much of a necessity. If you’ve never found yourself in a situation like this then you’ve never really liked anyone at all.
5. STAYED WITH SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY DIDN’T WANT TO STAY WITH ME
I literally dated a guy who was simultaneously dating like 9 other girls.. & I knew it. LORDT! & this wasn’t JUST some guy. This was a guy that I had been with for almost two years. When we first started dating, I just knew he was Jesus himself. But after he got comfortable with me, he got comfortable with a lot of other girls too. It was clear that he didn’t see much in me … or maybe we were just young. Either way, that shit was the absolute hell no and the corniest thing I’ve done to date…get it?… “date”….